I’m a little behind on my blog reading *coughkindlecough* so this isn’t exactly hot off the press fresh.  But today I learned that one of my all time favorite bloggers is calling it quits.  Decorno is one of the very few honest decorating blogs among the thousands.  The writer can illicit hundreds of comments with a title-less single photo.  She (I don’t even know her name) is snarky and crass, and intelligent and insightful.  And as inspiring as the posts are the comments.

I’m going to call this straight.  The decorating blogsphere is dominated by fragile egos.  Go out there, and try commenting honestly.  Tell the blogger you are a little tired of their increasingly dishonest product endorsements, or tell them what they are currently swooning over is f-ing ugly.  Or that perhaps the paint color they chose should be a tad warmer. They FREAK.   I have seen bloggers cry over the tiniest hint of disagreement, only to have loyal sycophants jump all over the commenter for making their idol upset.  “Oh, people are so MEAN! My delicate composition cannot handle this!  Why is the world so rude?”  Just recently, three bloggers did a podcast on “dealing with negativity”.  Because you know, anyone who doesn’t agree with you is simply using negativity to get attention …

Not at Decorno.  Oh no.  Vulgarity and disagreement abound.  The discussion is (was) honest.  Decorno “got” that decorating is the most subjective discipline in the world.  Decorno loved to call out stupid.  Decorno wasn’t about ego.  Decorno is going to be horribly missed. 

Since most of you, my readers, know me personally, you won’t be surprised to hear that I received a valentine on Sunday that praised me for being blatantly honest.  Integrity is my most valued character trait, and individuals with true integrity can state their opinion, and Receive Others’ Opinions without collapsing into a heap of thin skin.  I find this to be a character trait that many decorator/writers lack.

I created all these mosaics.  I remember at the time thinking the red tiles were so cutting edge.  I used to spend hours milling around showrooms.  So much so some of the employees began giving me broken tiles that were brightly colored or patterned.

I remember the first time I saw glass tile.  I was blown away.  I still am.  Just wait till you see what I’m putting in the Rooftop bar….

You can't see it from the poor quality, but some of these tiles had navy flowers on them. The rest were solid in ice blue, pale butter yellow and emerald green.

This mosaic features at least 20 different tiles in earth tones. There are even a few with a mettalic finish, which was really funky at the time.

Not a backsplash. This fireplace was in my old townhouse. It had been horrible builder grade brick. Most of the tiles had been recycled from another project.

Above a bathroom sink. Some of the tiles were periwinkle with a slight squiggly design.

This was my first. My friend saw how to do it on tv and called me to watch it. A few hours later I was done. I remember her freaking out that I would do something so quickly.

This one was done with the same colors in the same proportion to a huge piece of art in the sitting area opposite. I think the painting was of poppies, but I honestly don't remember.

 

 

I caved.  I’ve had an active Facebook profile for over a year now, and I update my status daily.  But for some reason I have dragged my feet creating a page for Decorate Your Space.  I don’t know if I was afraid I wouldn’t work on it, and it would be embarrassing.  Or what if I only have like 20 fans?  That would hardly scream success, now would it?  And I am pretty raw on Facebook.  I post my real life, without a lot of filter.  So maybe I have been afraid that potential clients would friend me—then WHOA. 

But I’ve had a lot of encouragement, and what the heck.  I realized that most of my clients come from referrals, anyway.  And by that time, my work speaks for itself.  I have always wanted to revive a series I used to send via email, back before blogging was the rage.  A few years ago I used to send out Quick Tips–short decorating snippets of advice.  Facebook will be a perfect venue to try this again; the 420 character limit will ensure I stay succinct!

So here’s the link.  Become my fan!

 It only took a few minutes of digging to find out:  Yep. It’s a stock photo.  ON A DECORATOR’S WEBSITE. 

Now before you get all, “We have come to expect faked -up photos in the advertising world.  Since when does a Big Mac look like it does on the side of the tractor trailer?”  Let me say:  This is unconscionable.  This is flat out lying.  This makes me sick to my stomach that someone would be out there, right here in the Metro Region, passing work off that is clearly not hers. 

And for the record: Every Image On My Business Website (DecorateYourSpace.net) Is MINE.  EVERY.SINGLE.ONE.

See you soon!!!

I have left my business group.  I’ve been a member for 3 years and 3 months.  Joining was the first thing I did to promote Decorate Your Space, and it quickly became oblivious that I was getting much more than promotion from my membership. 

I met mentors.  Effective, successful people became my colleagues and later my friends.  Many different categories of business, many different types of people, many different styles of work behavior allowed me to see how to behave in my own personal situations.  I am proud of what I have accomplished since December 2005 and I have my Wednesday morning group to thank. 

 The expressed purpose of BNI is passing referrals.  At least 30% of my clients are the direct result of my involvement.  At this point most of my clients are second and third generation referrals.

Which brings me to answer the question:  If everything is so wonderful, why would I quit?  Trust me; it was not an easy decision.  (And I technically didn’t quit, I just didn’t renew my membership.)  Three years is a long time and for almost all of that I assumed leadership roles.  I was President last year.  I am a regular fixture now.  I am one of the “oldies” and I feel like an old chair, barely noticed yet taken for granted.  Referrals given to me have dried up completely.  And I have given it time.  I have changed my spiel.  I have conducted one to ones.  I worked hard on my keynote presentation and was told by a founding member that it was the best he had ever heard.  I have passed thousands of dollars of business.

I know the current economic situation plays in all this, but I also blame myself.  I think I am too comfortable, which is why I am leaving.  And to be completely honest, attending is just not fun anymore.  Perhaps it is the economy and it could be the current leadership, but the atmosphere has changed.  My colleagues are no longer inspiring.  We don’t rejoice in our successes, laugh and joke at the meetings, and leave uplifted. 

My brain is wired to always see the glass as half full.  I plan to attend other meeting times.  Perhaps I just need a change of scenery.  Or maybe just a sabbatical…

I am going to indulge in the fact that I own this blog and it reflects MY life, and give a shout out to some of the people who have inspired, influenced and taught me much more than just how to run a business:

Bonnie Andresakes.  Bonnie was the first person to take a chance on me, even though the last thing she needed was a decorator.  Bonnie has taste, poise and style. She is well spoken, committed and beautiful and I wish I were more like her.

Wes Stearns.  Wes is the founder of our group.  You never meet a harder working person in your life.  Wes is dynamic and can make anyone laugh.

Stephanie Keyes.  Stephanie is more to me than a collegue.  She is my friend.  A lifelong member of our community, she is the perfect face for the Chamber of Commerce.

Rebecca Barnes.  Rebecca would be the mayor of Prince William, if we had one, and with her in charge, our area would lose its current tarnish and would shine.  I love Rebecca and I hope she is always in my life.

Colleen Wenger.  Colleen is the first person I ever talked to, even before my first visit.  Colleen has a heart of gold.

Lou Soscia.  If tragedy strikes, Lou is the person you want to make sure that you’re covered.  Lou’s honesty seeps out of him.

Charles Calvert.  Sometimes at our meetings, I would think that Charles and I shared thought waves.  If something struck me as funny or odd, I would make eye contact with him and we would have to suppress our laughs.  Charles is brilliant.

Alex Burns.  I hope Alex and I don’t lose touch.  He has a wonderful sense of humor, and is completely capable.  I wish him the best of luck as he embarks on a new business.

Cinde Weiser-McVeigh.  Cinde is my golden goose.  She can sell ice to Eskimos.  I don’t mean this negatively, though.  She has a real enthusiasm for life that carries into her business. 

Mike Horton.  Mike is the funniest person I have ever met.  True wit is a gift and Mike has bucketfulls.

Stacia Kelly.  Stacia shares my dance with the Muses.  She writes, paints and believes…

Kristen Hart.  Kristen is a friend, a confidant, a fellow traveler.  I hope we will continue are journey together.

There are more: Troy, Beth, Roosevelt, Kathy, Susie, Jim, Cynthia, Amy.  And Roggie Arnold and Mike Moss.  To me you two are permanent parts of Decorate Your Space.

Update:  I AM leaving today but not until 6.

I realize the photo is grainy. Twenty-five years have passed since it came out of a camper’s plastic strapped 110 camera and on to Facebook.

This is a photo from my youth. Of my little personal space in a cabin at the camp I attended for many joy-filled years.

It was taken by a young girl, who at the time was thinking—who keeps their stuff like this? The situation was odd enough to warrant her sparing one of the precious 25 she got to a roll. This photo evokes a memory very long forgotten by me due to its apparent insignificance. Who remembers the air they breathe?

I remember dumping the provided wire hangers for the at-the-time-new -and-novel plastic ones, and how important it was for me to match hanger color to item of clothing color. I remember bringing to camp a collection of books and arranging them in two neat stacks. I remember my preoccupation with anything Muppet.

Fast forward. My closet today holds only high quality wooden hangers. The clothing is now separated first by type, then color. I am sitting next to two neat stacks of books. They could have been taken right out of that picture and placed at right here at my bedside. As for my current obsession? Kermit has been replaced by a stack of Danish beads.

Facebook is a crazy phenomenon. I am becoming reacquainted with dozens of friends from the past. They come from many installations of my history: from my childhood neighborhood, from my youth group and summer camp, from high school and college and sorority and summer jobs. I look at this photo and I am utterly amazed by the fact that so many of these people are surprised to hear what I do for a living.

Just look at this photo. Wasn’t it destiny?

Books. I love books. I dreamed of them last night. I was a short walk from two amazing and completely made-up bookstores and I had to make the glorious choice of buying anything I wanted there. The sun was shining very brightly and I had to squint to find my way. Apparently I had a pocketful of cash as well. I awoke feeling happy. This was one of those dreams you never want to end.

I love everything about books. Not just the ideas within, but I love the feel of books as well. The weight. The substance. I love the smell. I love old books. I love brand new books. And the sound the still stiff pages make upon the first opening.

I mostly buy books that pertain to my field, but any book is worthy of my devotion. Of course, children’s books hold a high station in my heart. Especially those I had read to me. I learned to read very early; I was four. My mother still carries a slightly irritated tone when she recalls having to teach me strictly to maintain her sanity. I pestered her constantly. She said the final straw came when one day I was fussing and crying, having spread the newspaper out all over the living room floor, upset by the fact that everything there was a secret kept from me. I confess I still feel like that. I get a little anxious by all the news delivered to me every single day that I don’t have time to read.

I measure my financial success by how much money I can devote to my habit. Like a crack addict, my blood races when I stand at the checkout, or get my email confirmation that my sale is complete. I chose my spouse because of a $60 coffee table book, but that’s a story for another day. My favorite job was when I worked for Waldenbooks when I was going to Ohio State. My retirement fantasy includes owning a rare bookstore on Sanibel Island.

I have two new friends, a married couple, who are very smart. They are both professors, highly educated and truly wonderful people. There were at my house recently alone with just my children. I was arriving a little behind them. Having time to wait, they wandered to my library. I display my books on the lowest two shelves backwards, their spines to the rear. Perplexed, they asked my daughters why I did that. My oldest replied, “Those are the books she read.” Before you chuckle and think how sweet children are, realize: My daughter is FIFTEEN!

A bibliophile I am, but not to the point where the books and all their chaotic colors, textures and decorations ruin my design plan. I turn the bottom books to prevent the room from looking too busy. (I stole this idea from Mitchell Gold and Bob Williams.) I have no fear of not knowing where the one I need will be. Searching, I have an excuse to admire each one, even for a millisecond.

Oh, and in case you are wondering, I haven’t yet read all the backward facing books. The realization just put a knot in my stomach.

It would be nice to have something in my house that reminds me of her.   But for now, I don’t think this will happen.  She has lived the past 9 years with my mother, and what little she brought into my mother’s house now belongs there.  This week, my husband and I slept in her room, in her bed.  My kids thought it was a bit “creepy” but I thought it was nice.  And it was the most comfortable we have been there in years. 

At this point, it would be difficult to incorporate any of her furniture into my home.  In fact, this is a rather common issue for which people hire me.  Today I do understand why it is sometimes easier for an outsider to make these kinds of decisions.  About what to take, what to keep and how to make it work.

For me, for now, the memory of Granny continue to live on in the blue of my daughter’s eyes.