Yesterday was Valentine’s Day.  A lot of the bloggers I read recognized it by posting pictures of their honeys.  Food or Flowers shaped up into hearts were also popular this year– not sure why. 

Never one to succumb, I spent time thinking about an HGTV show I watched many years ago called Designing for the Sexes.  At that time, I would have never guessed that in a few short years I would be LIVING that show. 

Just an hour ago, I was on the phone with a client who is reluctantly going to purchase a double recliner.  Her husband really wants it.  It is, after all, a souped up Man Chair.  And I have had a few cases where the husband said some version of, “Dear, I don’t care what you do to the house, just give me my comfortable chair.”  My client feels she owes it to him, and who am I to judge?

When I’m conducting an initial phone interview with a new client, I ask about the living arrangements.  If a significant other lives in the home, I request he/she be present for my first visit.  I have learned long ago not to make the assumption that the wife makes the decorating decisions.  It’s just not true.  Nearly half the time, a male makes the call because he is the one that has more established opinions.  And not just about the chair he will crash in front of the TV in. 

Some couples have similar taste.  I am lucky in that regard.  You would think being married to a professional would be enough for my husband.  But no, he always has to argue with me about our decorating decisions, even if our preferences are the same.  Thankfully, I always win. But more times than not, we have a Plate Incident on our hands.  In these situations, Michael, from the aforementioned show, makes it look so hazardous.  But really, my job becomes maintaining the balance on the score card.

Once I start thinking about something, it’s hard for me to put it away.  You may have noticed that after long periods of absence, I’ve posted for a few days straight.  The snow–and another dump on its way at this very moment–has given me time to sit in from of my computer and blog.  It’s hardly surprising, then, that now I am itching to update my theme. 

I paid someone to create this Wordpress theme, even though I wrote my website myself.  My learning curve on DecorateYourSpace.net was so huge I was just too tired to even try.  I didn’t use a content management system, so it was backbreaking work for a total novice like myself to try to learn code.  When I ran across an opportunity to have a theme created for me cheaply, I went for it.  I have never been happy with the results.  It is just too cluttered for my taste. 

I want something simple and clean on the body.  The current layout feels too squished for me.  But I want a very interesting and energetic background, on the place where I have teal with a few stripes now.  I am thinking about creating a collage for this area with pictures of things that make me happy, not strictly decorating per say, but of things that speak to a lifestyle.  (Like the image my friend George took this summer at the beginning of this post.) And I am thinking of removing “Create a Sense of Place, Decorate Your Space” and adding something along the lines of “The Diary of a Decorator balancing clients and teenage daughters and blah blah blah while reigning in the occasional desire to take over the world.”  In order for new readers will know what they’re in for…

 I think I am going to delete the ads.  They certainly don’t pay me enough to compensate for how ugly most of them are.

I am fighting a personal battle, and I have enlisted my family as frontline fighters.  I am waging a war against clutter.  In our conspicuous consumptive culture, this conflict is necessary.  Every single day handfuls of items enter our home.  Most come with little recognition to their arrival, making their taking up of residence all the more insidious.  Clutter is a pest.  It is a menace to clear thinking.  It breeds bad attitudes and lazy reactions.  Stuff piles up because it pretends to not deserve our attention.  A plop here, a drawer stuff there, all seemingly innocent. 

I refuse to be seduced by the sweet thought of “having it for later” and “but I might just need it tomorrow”.  These thoughts tempt, yet giving in to them steals the true joy that comes from having only what you need and using what you have.

All four of us fought hard all weekend.  We cleaned every closet and all the bedroom drawers.  Even the garage got a good sweeping out.  Just like exercise, a good hard cleaning feels terrible at first, but soon the endorphins are released.  My 15 year old wrote, “I feel very accomplished” on her Facebook page.  (She confused the connotation, but I was still proud.)  My 11 year old smiled ear to ear when she explained in exorbitant detail the reason for the order of her shirts and pants.  This morning my husband offered, without a prompt, how much easier it was to think when everything was in its place. 

I would say we won this scrimmage, hands down.  For now at least.  Until one day in only perhaps a few short months, we turn around and notice we have been outflanked again by the creep of mail, sloppily filed paperwork and worn out clothing.

This weekend I met with a client who wanted to take me to see two properties she and her three children were considering.  One was much larger and because of this crazy market riddled with foreclosures, cheaper.  The other, to all of the family members but one, just felt better.  My job was to affirm their gut reaction and to convince them that they were not crazy for going for a smaller, more expensive home.

The reason is simple. Though smaller, the home had a layout that was in tune to the needs of this close family.  The social spaces were clustered in a group and away from the private spaces.  The home had a yard directly off the main living areas, making even the dog seem always nearby.  A smaller family room, but bigger bedrooms better meet the needs of three teenagers who spend less time with toys and more time studying and using electronics. 

Together we wrote down the features of each as we toured them.  Though the length of both lists was the same, looking at the features in black and white made it obvious to everyone what was the better choice.

I am glad we are moving away from the trend of huge McMansions, and houses full of rooms without a stick of furniture. Sadly though, the reasons for the shift seem to be more the force of the economy than a concerted effort to create functional, rational living spaces.

President-in-a matter-of-hours Barack Obama declared that he would love to see Martin Luther King Day become a day of service.  I can’t imagine a better way for the entire country to spend a free Monday. 

My youngest daughter and I participated by picking up trash around Old Town Manassas.  The event was sponsored by my church, and posted on the USA Service website.  We had over 40 volunteers, many of them youth, from many reaches of the metropolitan area.  We even had two different groups who had traveled from California to attend the inauguration, and found the event online and pitched in to help.  Fluorescent vests on, with pickers and bags in hand, we worked for two hours under the threat of a snow storm.  Afterward, we shared stories of oddest items found, heard a silly song make up by a group of who declared themselves the “Singing Samaritans”, and ate pizza and subs.  We were all proud of the 300 pounds we picked up, but distressed at the same time that so much litter can be found within a few blocks. 

So for those of you are reading this and are thinking, who cares?  What does this have to do with Design Strategies?  Let me make this connection:  Your home should relax, rejuvenate and inspire you.  Creating your haven is of vital importance, but it is my deepest wish that one of the ways you are inspired is to reach out beyond your door, and help create a little bit of Better, right here and right now. 

The key points to getting started:

Focus on Function First.  Does the room suit your lifestyle?  If not, fix it.  Not every house needs a formal Dining Room. Maybe a game room would work better at this stage. 

Kill the Clutter.  Kill the Clutter.  Kill the Clutter.

Start a Design File.  Pictures are powerful motivators.  Make a college, fill a folder or use an online resource. 

Make a Concrete Commitment.  Having a place that is uniquely and perfectly yours is easy, but won’t happen without a decision to make it happen.  This is a new year.  Improve your life by improving the space around you.

A good mother deserves a room of her own and sometimes it takes a mother to give it.

Mary and I first worked together about 3 years ago.  She was a patient of a dentist whose office I designed. She first hired me to sort through and utilize some inherited pieces. Soon after, she and her husband decided to retire to North Caroline, so we staged her home for the real estate market.  We have stayed in touch through her daughter who also became my client.

Well, Mary is a very wonderful mother.  And her other daughter, now a mother herself, is equally devoted to her three young children.  Three young ones who, as small children tend to do, have taken over the house.  And Mary, having been though this, understands how important a little grownup space can be.  So while the whole family is at Disney, Mary and her husband have snuck back to Virginia and into her daughter’s house.  They are spending the week creating a little haven in the master bedroom as a surprise.  A space without toys.  It is going to be just like television.

A master bedroom should be a haven, but in reality it rarely is.  Confessionally, my own also serves as an office.  Hardly Relaxing.  The pictures at the beginning of this post are from the Inn at Little Washington.  I am not saying that your room need be so outrageous, but you can get the idea. 

You can’t be too rich, or too thin, but you can have too much stuff.

People have a hard time parting with their possessions.  I imagine it is part of our DNA, this urge to horde away.  We lost the ability to live lean when we gave up our nomadic ways and began to plant. 

Here we are, hundreds of generations later.  Today, unlike our ancestors, too much stuff indicates lack of security, lack of control.  Most people recognize that we are sickening ourselves and complicating our lives with too much stuff.  That all this consuming is not adding to our quality of life. 

Breaking the urge to collect is hard,  but none the less is freeing.  I advise my clients to really analyze what they use, and what they NEED.  Unhealthy attachments can be corrected.  Giving things away items FEELS GOOD. 

I had a client a few years ago that owned 3 antique Secretaries.  All heirlooms, yes, but they did make walking into the Dining Room difficult.  Once we decided which one to keep, it made the next decision easier.  We kept items that belonged to the owners of the other two.  My client didn’t feel any less connected to her heritage.  And she could finally breathe without blowing over a stack of stuff.

I was going to post on Americana Décor, but the fact is I am not much of a fan of such kitsch. Trust me, working in a heavily military area I see A LOT of patriotic decorating.

So instead I decided to write about patriotic things to do. It annoys me that some people in our country like to strut around declaring themselves more American than others. HEY, I LIVE IN REAL VIRGINIA, too! But enough about that.

Design Strategies that Serve

1) Vote. No kidding, right?

2) Reuse. Try Freecycle.

3) Buy used. Try Craigslist.

4) Buy American.

5) Buy local.

6) Buy Green.

7) Volunteer.

8  Educate yourself. I have a strong belief in reading the local newspaper. There is no excuse for not knowing what is happening at the most local level.

9) Contact your local representatives. Trust me, they WILL call you back. They represent YOU, even if they are of the opposing party, so tell them how you feel.

10) Create a Sense of Place. Happiness begins at home.

Ok, I am off my soap box now. Thanks for indulging me. I love blogging!

I met with Michele and Stan last March and again the next month, although it hardly feels like 18 months ago.  At that time, they were considering necessary updates for an eventual entry into the real estate market.  Their year long hard work, vast improvement in space, and the tanking market made a decision to stay easy. 

I have heard time and again how satisfying it is to fix all the little annoyances that were overlooked until Realtor eyes are on the property.  And how afterward, the homeowner’s need to leave diminishes.   So my question is , why wait?  Why not create the home you desire right now?  Dedicate some time to repairing cracks.  Put a little aside in the budget for small improvements, like paint or  new fixtures.  Get those new appliances you have always wanted, and will NEED to get when selling, and enjoy them for yourselves. 

Create a sense of place right where you are.